Hiya, again.
Well I now only have 3 exams left. WoOop...
You didn't know that, nor were you probably bothered. So I'll just shut up about it, I guess...
Actually, no I won't. I think we all need to reveal the truth behind the ongoing pressure that is exams...
Exam stress is a nightmare, isn't it? I mean, I literally go to bed thinking about them. I wake up in the night thinking about them. I fall back to sleep, still thinking about them. I wake up for school, STILL thinking about them. It's no wonder I forgot to have a life.
Who really looks at a bad exam result and thinks, 'Okay, maybe they had a bad day that day? Maybe they don't deal with exam stress? What if they are not confident in exams? Maybe, just maybe, this person is actually amaaaazing at what they want to do, and just not that great at explaining why two atoms have to share their electrons in order to form covalent bonds so that they can form something new?'
I'll tell you who. My Mom. Thanks Mom, I know it's not the end of the world; even though it is. Yes Mom, I know you still love me; even though no one else will love me and my 'U grade'. Okay Mom, I'll look at other options and pathways; even though THIS is what I wanted to do.
Agree? I guess most parents do the same. I think they must sign something when you are born to always to say, even if you seriously screw your life up, there are 'always other ways' and they are 'still proud of you for trying'; 'As long as you try your best, that's all that matters'. Okay. Thanks. I think....
Don't get me wrong. I realise that there are far more important things in life than getting straight A's, but when, from the age of 5, your parents were told that you should be a straight A student, you sort of want to live up to that expectation. Not only that but everyone wants you to, too. Or at least some do. Some want to see you fail, just as much as a lion wants to see a gazelle fall right at the last minute.
These people are the types that see only the grade. They only see the number on a clothes label. The number of likes on a picture. The number on a scale. The number of people that you walk round with in the corridor. But that is another issue, completely.
I have always been one of those 'stress-head' types. I got worried for SATS and took teddies in with me for comfort! If only they had been there to help me through the rest of school.
That is not a joke. Honestly. Just in case someone thought it was sarcasm, it really isn't. I took in my little 'Ducky' and 'Shnuggles' among some small Mcdonalds toys, if I remember rightly. Please don't judge me. I needed the reassurance.
For anyone doing exams, it's stressful, but for the unfortunate souls that, like me, are cursed with perfectionism, it is a hella horrid period. I can only say from experience, hard work does, to a certain degree, pay off.
I wonder if in 20 years I'll look back on my exams and be grateful for them? Will I loathe the education system for them? Will they have actually benefited me in any way?
I don't know. Maybe they will help me, maybe they won't. But right now, I have no chance of changing the fact I have to do them.
I should really get back to revision now. I at least have to try and annoy those greedy mean lions that want me to be the gazelle...
For now, goodbye.
Unconventionalism xx
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